The reputation risks of online dating

The Reputation Risks of Online Dating

For the 20 million online daters in the United States, finding romance in the Internet age may pose more hazards than the potential for a bad date or a risk to their electronic privacy. Although finding love through one of the more than 1,500 dating websites sometimes yields successful matches worthy of an eHarmony commercial, it can also lead to risks more suited to a cautionary tale in a crime news report.

This article examines the reputation risks of online dating and shows steps you can take to protect yourself when seeking Internet romance.

Finding love online is big business.

Placing personal ads isn’t a modern invention. Mass media sources have been in the dating game for centuries. As early as 1700, matrimonial services ran personal advertisements in newspapers seeking potential spouses for the men and women who engaged their services. With that in mind, it’s no surprise that the Internet has been used as a dating tool since nearly its inception.

Even before the World Wide Web came into being, newsgroups hosted online personals, and early Internet providers such as America Online, Prodigy and CompuServe all gave prime real estate to singles forums and chat rooms. So widespread is the current use of online dating services that the industry rakes in more than $4 billion worldwide every year.

Consider electronic privacy and other risks while looking for love online.

Although Internet dating has become widespread and socially acceptable, as the number of online daters grows, so do stories about the risks arising from meeting potential mates on dating sites such as True.com and Spark.com.

Online dating horror stories abound, including dates who don’t resemble their posted pictures, daters who encounter frightening personalities, and married people who are looking for some side action. Other stories take a far more serious turn and are demonstrative of the very real risks that online daters face.

One such story is about serial rapist Jeffrey Marsalis, who created fraudulent profiles on Match.com in order to meet women. Marsalis lured women who thought they were meeting a nice surgeon or astronaut into dates, and then he drugged and raped them.

Though the Marsalis example is an extreme one, less-than-cautious online daters face a variety of potential risks:

• Electronic privacy is easy to violate when you give someone personal information about yourself such as a telephone number or email address. The more details you provide, the more you put yourself at risk.
• A significant percentage of people with online dating profiles misrepresent minor or major aspects of their lives. For instance, they may be married, have a criminal record or may not be who they say they are.
• Financial scammers from overseas use dating sites to lure unsuspecting victims into parting with their money.
• Spammers use online dating sites to cull email addresses to add to their spam lists.
• Meeting someone sight unseen can pose potential threats to physical safety.
• Dating websites that prescreen applicants may create a false sense of security. Just because someone is prescreened doesn’t mean he or she gave accurate information in the first place.

With all these threats lurking, is it possible to protect yourself and find love on the Internet? With a little care, you can decrease your risk of running afoul of a negative online dating experience, mitigating the reputation risks of online dating.

Avoid financial scams.

Internet dating websites have taken the romance scam high tech. Online scammers flood dating sites in order to make connections. When they have established trust and “fallen in love,” they may ask for a small and reasonable amount of money. As the “romance” progresses, however, the amounts increase, and the reasons for needing the money become more elaborate.

No matter how intense an online romance feels, when an Internet friend asks for money, it should raise a red flag. Never send money to someone from an online dating site. For more about Internet scams, check out this article.

Guard your personal safety.

If you do decide to meet in person, protect yourself. Drive yourself to the date, and meet during the day in a busy public place. Tell friends and family where you’re going and whom you’re meeting. Arrange check-in times with a friend or family member.

Respect your instincts.

Listen to your gut. If your instincts tell you that something doesn’t feel right, heed that warning and move on.

Share photographs with caution.

Even the most innocent pictures may contain information that compromises your privacy. Digital photographs have attached metadata that provides information, such as where and when the image was captured. Predators can use this data to find you.

Protect yourself by scanning a photograph before sending it or removing the metadata from the JPEG image. Also beware of sending risqué pictures. In the wrong hands, they can harm your online reputation. Think twice before providing photos to anyone you meet on an online dating website.

Protect your private information.

One of the surest steps you can take to protect yourself in the world of online dating is to safeguard your private information.

• Instead of using your home email address, get a free email account from Yahoo, Hotmail or another service, and use that for all your dating correspondence. If the dating site offers it, using its blind email address service is your best option.
• When you send emails and communicate, don’t use your first and last name, and make sure that your email “From” field only uses your first name.
• Likewise, don’t provide home address or telephone information. Instead, communicate via Skype, or consider buying a disposable cell phone you use only for online dating.
• Get to know someone before providing any personal information. Even a last name or phone number may make it possible for the wrong person to obtain your home address.

Use these tips and avoid the reputation risks of online dating.

Karen Frazier is an author, freelance writer and journalist who has written three books. She also writes health and fitness articles for Livestrong.com and serves as a wine editor and writer for LoveToKnow.com.